Many of us are challenged remembering names perhaps because we are not giving our full attention during introductions — we may be thinking about what we are going to say rather really listening to learn, remember and use a person's name. Even if you are not completely 100 percent positive about someone's name, make an effort. Here are some quick saves:
• Confess! Say, "I am so sorry, I have completely blanked on your name." Said with sincerity, your efforts and this single gesture will be noticed and appreciated. Remember, it is not what you say, but how you say it.
• Ask the mutually respected third party, "What's the name of the gentleman with the pink tie?" You may then knowingly approach and greet by name.
• The "set-up" — The practice of sending over the "mutually respected third parties" to introduce themselves, encouraging your target to respond by saying his or her name. This tactic is frequently used and highly effective. The person who choreographed this "set-up" then confidently approaches the targeted individual.
• Re-introduce yourself. Approach the other person and say your name. In business we should all be conditioned so that when we hear people say their name we respond in kind, saying our name, first and last, slowly and clearly, so this can be understood, remembered and used.
• Ask the pointed question, "What is your name, please?" The person should respond with first and last name. At which point you might say, "Yes, I knew Flynn, but yes, Susan Flynn." Now you have both.
• Ask for the spelling. Be careful here … when they say, "B-R-O-W-N." … OK! … "Exactly the way it sounds!" This happens! Others understand, and appreciate your effort. "Brown" and "Green" are also spelled with an "e," and even Smith sometimes has a "y."
• Say the name of the person you know and allow the other individual to reveal his or her name. (This tactic is a bit tacky, but might work in a pinch.)
• Ask how the person prefers to be addressed. This gives you a name as well as preference. This time, be alert and listen.
• Help others in distress — divulge your full name promptly if someone seems to be struggling, or share another person's name when it is evident that someone may have forgotten it. This is always appreciated and will help you stand apart. And it might make others more inclined to return the favor in times of need.
Judith Bowman is president of her own business consulting firm.
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