Don't be the office Joe Biden.
Too much touching can land you in the human resources office faster than you can say, "Give me a hug."
The trend of having more open workspaces with big kitchens, free food and lots of "team spirit" doesn't mean you can intrude on personal space.
Colleagues still need their comfort zones. Biden felt the heat recently for getting too close to Stephanie Carter, the wife of Defense Secretary Ashton Carter. Nuzzling her neck from behind while grabbing her shoulders was, well, invading her space.
Comfort zones change from country to country, culture to culture, and there are different office cultures. For example, a Silicon Valley startup might encourage lighthearted casual physical contact versus a more professional setting in, say, a buttoned-down investment firm.
Generally speaking, we here in the U.S. prefer one arm's length distance for our comfort zone, while those in England prefer more like two arms' lengths of distance, and those in Asia and Arab countries prefer more like three arm's lengths of distance for their comfort zone. Latin countries prefer more like 3 inches. (American businesswomen: Please be aware of this. It's just their way.)
Remember, the all-embracing goal in business is to get to know, like and then trust. You need to earn the right to cross that line to kiss, hug and embrace and (technically) violate unspoken boundaries of personal space.
Be careful, as some advances are unwanted, and sexual harassment issues are real. Be conscious of this and condition yourself to read body language before it's too late.
If the action is already underway, go with it — you can't really push them away. Also, especially go with it after a big project completion, huge sale, a major life announcement or a personal loss.
Here's how to avoid unwanted intimacy:
• Take Control. Extend a rigid handshake to keep someone at arm's length.
• Just say you're not a touchy person.
• Maintain a barrier — a desk, even a portfolio — until the moment passes.
If you must, here's how to embrace, safely:
• Ask for a "big hug" and just give a warm squeeze.
• Don't close your eyes.
• Don't hug from behind.
Just ask Joe Biden how breaking that rule went.
Judith Bowman is president and founder of Protocol Consultants International and author of "Don't Take the Last Donut: New rules of Business Etiquette" and "How to Stand Apart @ Work … Transforming 'Fine' to Fabulous!" Email her at Judith @protocolconsultants.com.
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